Keep working at it. If you work at it, you will get better.
If you prefer backend work to frontend design, then definitely focus of that.
In addition to Owel’s excellent comments on your portfolio, I’d also add that it just seems a little too simple. Maybe dated is a better word. It’s using a lot of basic formatting that has been around for 20 years so it just looks like something out of the past. I would recommend looking at some other portfolio pages to get some ideas. What you have works and looks clean, it just doesn’t grab the viewer.
Have you joined any clubs or done any meetups? That is a great way to meet people in your area who are doing something similar. They can be a great way to get advice and feedback. You can get some experience working with others on projects. And you might make a connection that gets you a job.
It’s easy to be patient and wait for a real web development job when you’re already working a real career and you can still feel like an adult, but when you’ve never even had that experience, …
Well, everyone has to start somewhere. And I wouldn’t say “to be patient and wait for a real web development job”. I’d say, “use this time to build skills and get ready for when that job presents itself.” If you wait on the corner long enough, the bus will come. You don’t know what the schedule is, but it will be there. If I can switch metaphors, opportunity will eventually knock and now is the time to get ready. If you aren’t ready when it knocks, then you’re just going to have to wait for the next opportunity.
it just always feels like you’re in the “When will my life begin?” phase, …
Most people feel that way. I’m 48 and I feel that way everyday. I think when you’re a kid, you look at adults and think that they have it all figured out. When you become and adult you feel like everyone else has it figured out and you’re just faking it. Lately I’ve been realizing that everyone is faking it. Maybe a few people have charmed lives and the personality that allows them to feel confident and in control. But there are far more of us than there are of them. The trick (I think) isn’t to try to fool yourself, but just accept it and do your best.
Life is what happens while you’re making other plans. Your life is happening right now. The most important day in your life is today. Enjoy it - you won’t get it back. And what are you going to do today to make your life better? Not tomorrow, not yesterday, but today.