So I’m starting to feel like one of the “grand old men” of the internet. Not that I AM, mind you, just that I feel that way. So gather 'round, kiddies, it’s story time!
Story time!
Back in the day (1988, to be precise), I started college. Went to a tech college, not one I’d recommend, with a major in “Computer Programming.” At the associates level, they taught MS-BASIC, COBOL and RPG-II. At the bachelors, advanced BASIC, Pascal and intro to C.
Throughout school, I really enjoyed programming. It was very primitive, it was largely MS BASIC, but it was fun. Figuring out the graphic context, seeing what the system could do, exploring fractal worlds coded in BASIC on a 5.25" floppy…
At the same time, my dad had started his own print shop, and I was his default designer, doing business cards, brochures, logo design… And that was also fun. I don’t really have a design eye, but fonts are INCREDIBLY intriguing when you get into them.
So I started school, thinking this was my chosen place in life. Then I saw what they were teaching, and who my fellow students were, and I was BORED. I tried teaching myself a half-dozen other languages (LISP, ADA, perl, etc), as I was completing the syllabus by day three of the class.
I ended up quitting, maybe five credits from graduation. Because I hated it. Hated programming, hated everything about it. Even hated the smell of programmers, if you can believe it. Went back home, went back to work at radio shack, and attended night classes… at an actual clown college. Yup, I’m a certifiable clown.
After about a year, though, I came to a realization – I love programming. I love design. I also love clowning, and magic, and balloon twisting. The thing I hated then (well, had a hard time with, and still do) is people who are so one-dimensional that that is their sole interest, and honestly they are not so good at whatever it is. Programmers who want you to tell them how to do a thing. Clowns who denigrate and diminish others, to make themselves look better. Petty people.
I had let the pettiness steal my passion, and it took YEARS for me to find my way back.
End of story time.
Here’s my advice. You’ve tried design, it seems you may not have the heart for it. But if you try javascript or databases or something else, and you have an understanding of what a designer is looking for or is going through, you’re in a position to provide a connection. You know the language of design now, even if it’s not your passion. You can, in some way, relate.
Don’t give up, there’s a LOT of different niches in the design/development world. Experiment. Make one your own!