It’s been a while since I’ve posted here. I’ve done on and off dev work since I got my degree in it. Was seriously I’ll and now I’m having to start again.
I’ve pretty much no motivation or hope at this point, I’m 30, living with my dad, no job aside from gig work stacking boxes, no friends, relationships contacts or money.
2 suicide attempts later and I’m still here but I feel like a burden.
I keep seeing this “anyone can learn to code” and it only seems to be me that’s bashing my head against a wall.
I love the technology, vr is really interesting, I have great ideas with what i would do with it same with web dev,I enjoy making scifi/warhammer 40k shirts and 3d models (part of my degree involved vr tech but from 2009) , I’m supposed to be attending a vr unity 5 day beginner meetup I paid $250 for tickets but now I’m so disheartened I may try to get my money back.
I dont know if it’s the coding or what it is, I know syntax, what oop is I just can never fit the stuff together.
It’s like having the jigsaw pieces and not knowing how to fit them, react360 looks interesting but it’s so beyond me.
I just feel like im wasting my life and I’m unsure how to proceed. Paying for more courses doesn’t seem the way because im stuck in unconscious incompetence with no support.
My other dev friends talk about how they had mentor in their first role and paid training, I never ever had that. I was given complex work, zero training or opportunity to train at all.